xxxtinydancerxxx:

When you see a spider by your foot

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When water gets into your ear:

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When your mom tells you to take out the trash:

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When your hair gets in front of your face:

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When you’re too tired to walk up the stairs:

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???:

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sorry:

shopping for clothes would be a lot more fun if i had a thinner body and a fatter wallet

(Source: sorry, via fake-mermaid)

drunkdilf:

kinda wanna go on a date, kinda wanna get hit by a truck too 

(Source: cyberho, via lindsaylohoean)

ugly:

"is pizza for dinner okay?"

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(via asiuns)

deair:

so how do i relationship

(via asiuns)

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via alexanderdavidfuckingturner)